How To Practice Self Love: Simple Everyday Habits

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How To Practice Self Love

I am going to make a guess here. If you are reading an article about self-love, I reckon it’s because you think that you don’t love yourself enough. Am I right? If so, you share this trait in common with millions of people the world over. I’m also guessing that no-one ever taught you exactly how to practice self love. You see, this is a problem that spans the generations. Your mother and father probably didn’t know how to do it either. So how could they teach you? It’s quite probably that your teachers also didn’t know how, so they couldn’t teach you either.

Knowing how to love yourself, and making it an important part of your daily life is the best way to take care of your own needs and prioritise your mental health. In this article, we’ll discuss what self love is, why it is so important and how to set healthy boundaries so that your practice of self love is not derailed by anyone.

In order to begin learning how to self love, first of all, you’ve got to learn what self-love means.

What Is Self-Love?

In her excellent article on the website PsychCentral, Sharon Martin states that

Self love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing

It is surprising how many people don’t do that. We learn incorrect lessons about self love as children and teenagers. We are told “self love is no love” or that we are being “too big for our boots”. We are encouraged to compare ourselves unfavourably to others through the school system. We begin to do negative self-talk because that’s what those people we hold in high regard seem to be encouraging you to do.

Remember, all it takes to develop a habit is practicing that habit for between 4 to 6 weeks. So if we practice criticising ourselves for just six weeks, it becomes our norm. If you’re reading this article, I’m guessing you’ve been practicing anything but self love for quite a long time.

Why Is Self Love Important?

I am quoting now from the philosopher Whitney Houston. As you read this you may have just raised your eyebrow a little. Surely she’s a singer, not a philosopher….right? Well, she did sing one of the most profound lines ever sang in any song. The line goes like this “the greatest love of all is learning to love yourself”.

Self love is important in that it helps us to avoid depression, low self worth and low self esteem and perfectionism. It can also help us to avoid abuse from others because a typical trait of someone who doesn’t love themselves is thinking that the abuse is all they deserve so therefore they stay in abusive situations longer on average.

Are You Worthy Of Love?

are you worthy of love sign

I believe that nearly everybody is worthy of love. I draw the line at psychotic serial killers or paedophiles or anyone else who has committed very serious crimes. That’s just me and my beliefs. You are, of course, free to believe whatever you believe. However, the vast majority of people that I have seen in my hypnotherapy clinic for various issues seem worthy of love to me and yet, they give themselves a hard time and it’s like their inner critic is working overtime.

Some of these people would easily be described as the most loving human you had ever met but, while they can express unconditional love to a family member or to their closest friends, they have a difficult time having healthy relationships with themselves. They put the needs of others before their own needs which is not ideal. One of the best ways to think about other people and their needs is that your needs are equally as important as theirs.

Top 3 Tips For Self Love

You can download a pdf leaflet with my top 3 tips for self love which will help you to understand how to practice self love every day. You don’t even have to give me your name or email address. This is because I genuinely want to help as many people as I can, to discover the joy of self love.

Top £ Tips For Self Love

Top 3 Tips For How To Practice Self Love Every Day

Download this beautiful A4 pdf right now and print it off.
Stick it on the wall next to your bed to remind you of what you can do every day to practice self love. 
(No subscription required)

Self Love Quotes From Religion

All of the great teachers back through the ages have taught the importance of self love as part of spiritual growth. For instance, Jesus taught “love thy neighbour as thyself”. I’m guessing he didn’t mean “criticise the hell out of your neighbour as you criticse yourself on the inside”. The lesson was meant to teach us that all love starts from inside of ourselves. If we can’t love ourselves, what hope do we have of loving someone else.

Buddha said “you, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”. I’ve even read on a muslim website recently “Loving yourself is loving Allah” So actually, all of the major religions are in alignment about self love.

What Stops Us From Loving Ourselves?

Our early learning has a lot to do with it. In my own case, I grew up with a father who criticised me constantly, so I thought that I didn’t deserve to believe in myself. At school, I always envied the confident guys who believed in themselves because I sure as hell didn’t. Now, of course, not everyone grows up with a family critic. Some people are victims of abuse and they learn an unspoken lesson that they are not good enough.

Over the years, I’ve met many people who just don’t accept themselves as they are. I hear a lot of “I’ll love myself when I lose forty pounds”, or “I’ll be happy when I am able to speak in front of a crowd”. These are examples of conditional love. In other words, we tell ourselves that there is some standard we have to meet before we will allow ourselves to love ourselves. All this does is make sure we are NOT practicing self love in the present moment.

 If you are in a romantic relationship, isn’t it true that your partner does actually have some flaws? If your answer is “no”, please apply to the Guinness Book Of Records immediately. I have never met a “perfect” person, and I’m sure you haven’t either. Yet, if you love this person, what you are saying is that you can love the person even though they are not perfect. How about applying a little bit of that to yourself?

Why Do I Struggle To Love Myself?

Self worth needs to be an inside job. In other words, it’s got to come from you and only you. As an example, when you complete a task, tell yourself you did a great job if you think you did a great job. Now make other people’s opinions irrelevant. Try this out and you’ll appreciate how difficult it actually is.

The reason is that for years, you’ve probably measured how good you were at a task by what other people said. If they praised you, then you felt good. But if they gave a half-hearted response, you probably felt bad. Of course, if they mocked you or said you did a bad job, you were probably crushed. 

These are signs that we are taking too much notice of other people’s opinions. Another major factor is comparing ourselves with other people. There are simply some things that should never be compared. As the saying goes “it’s like comparing apples with oranges”.

Human beings are unique and individual. If you’ve been comparing yourself to others – stop! Some people even constantly remind themselves of their past failures. Like that will ever make you happy!!!

The good news is that you can learn to be in a state of appreciation of yourself much more often and it doesnt have to be hard work. The great thing is that when you do self love, it’s actually enjoyable. Your own happiness level will increase and have a positive effect on you almost immediately. One of the amazing things about self love is that you’ll have a wonderful time doing it. 

learn to love yourself self hypnosis audio cover

Self Hypnosis Audio For Self Love

Self hypnosis can be a great tool to learn how to love yourself. This powerful audio is 25 minutes long.

Happy Self Love Quotes

Here are some really inspirational quotes that are intended to help you to want to love yourself more

“We just need to be kinder to ourselves. If we treated ourselves the way we treated our best friend, can you imagine how much better off we would be?

Meghan Markle, Actress & Duchess Of Sussex

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

Lucille Ball, Actress, Comedian & Producer

“If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Author & Motivational Speaker

How Do I Start Loving Myself?

A great way to begin is to just make a powerful decision. Decide that you are going to love yourself from now on. Without this decision, you may struggle with the act of self-love because your mind will still be holding on to old beliefs that have stopped you from buying into that concept of self-compassion in the past. Part of making that decision is having a cold, hard look at what your low self-esteem and lack of a healthy amount of self-love has affected your everyday life up until now. 

Then maybe ask yourself, “if I don’t do good self-care from now on, what are the possible bad outcomes?”. When you do this, imagine painting a really bad picture in your mind. Imagine it having a bad effect on your overall health. Imagine having more toxic relationships as a result of not changing. Imagine never achieving the heights of love with your romantic partner. Imagine losing your job because of not taking better care of your basic needs.

Now imagine all the good things that will happen if you stick with it and make loving yourself one of your automatic behavior patterns. Imagine that by increasing the amount of love you have for yourself, you are able to set boundaries that are healthy. Imagine the increased positive energy because you practice gratitude for yourself every day. You become grateful for all the wonderful things about you. By practicing self love on a regular basis, you make healthy choices and you are always in a state of emotional well-being.

Now it seems as if making that decision is a no-brainer, doesn’t it. All you have to do now is give it commitment. Commit to practicing self love in your day-to-day life until it becaomes an automatic habit and you don’t even need to make a conscious effort any more.

How To Practice Self Love - Four Simple Steps

  • Put Yourself First – for at least one hour per day, put yourself first even if you are putting others first all day long. The key here is balance. We cannot put others before ourselves always.
  • Good Routines Of Self Care – always brush you hair, shower, shave (if you’re a guy), make your bed, making time for eating (never eating on the run), getting to bed at a reasonable time, etc.
  • Eliminate Negative Self Talk – every time you catch yourself criticising yourself, remind yourself that’s not ok. Replace the negative thought immediately with a good positive thought about yourself. It will take commitment and practise but after a month of doing this constantly, the positive thoughts will start to become automatic and the negative thoughts will drop away.
  • Stop Comparing Yourself – if you are in the habit of comparing yourself to others, you need to have a power cut. Most comparisions these days happen when we go on social media and we see the “fabulous” life of others. If this is you, consider cutting out all social media for a whole month. Don’t worry – you won’t die just because your not checking Facebook or Instagram every five minutes.
learn to love yourself self hypnosis audio cover

Self Hypnosis Audio For Self Love

Self hypnosis can be a great tool to learn how to love yourself. This powerful audio is 25 minutes long.

Learn To Love Yourself With Self Hypnosis

One of the most powerful ways to learn how to practice self love is by listening to a self hypnosis audio each day for thirty days. This will prompt your imagination to start building big, bright images in your mind of what you’ll be like when you are practicing self love every day.

Every time you listen powerful suggestions will embed in your mind, helping you to believe that you do love yourself in a healthy way. I have recorded a powerful self hypnosis audio “Learn To Love Yourself”  which you can download right now by clicking on the link in the title.

One of the things I’ve observed over the years is that people who have an issue with self love generally tend to have lower levels of confidence that others. In this next article you’ll learn How To Build Confidence In Yourself

 

Picture of Author: Paul Hunter

Author: Paul Hunter

Although thousands of people read his blog every month, Paul's path to success was not an easy one. Click here to read his amazing story "From Unwanted Baby And Adopted To A Respected Self Help Blogger". If you want to send Paul a quick message, then visit his contact page here

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Picture of Paul Hunter

Paul Hunter

Although thousands of people read his blog every month, Paul's path to success was not an easy one. Click here to read his amazing story "From Unwanted Baby And Adopted To A Respected Self Help Blogger". If you want to send Paul a quick message, then visit his contact page here

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