Next Step Sober Living: Fall In Love With Being Sober

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Next Step Sober Living: Fall In Love With Being Sober

If you’ve had a serious alcohol problem, most of the focus, in the beginning, is on the early recovery stage. This is all about the battle with alcohol abuse and just staying away from alcohol. If you’ve gone through that process, either in a rehab facility with group therapy or by yourself, maybe with the help of 12-step meetings through Alcoholics Anonymous, you’ll know that there comes a time in the recovery process when the initial battle is over.

This is the point where most addicts start silently asking themselves the question “What next?”. For a serious alcohol addict, your whole life revolves around alcohol. While you are in the grips of your addiction, the most important question is “Where is the next drink coming from?”. 

Now, that’s gone! All the problems and stresses of the real world are still there, however. It’s just that your old coping mechanism has been, like a rug, pulled from under you. So, what’s going to help you to cope from now onwards? If you don’t come up with an answer to that, you are more likely to fall off the wagon.

Next Step Sober Living Success Through Love

next step sober living success through love

As a clinical hypnotherapist with over fifteen years of experience in regularly dealing with alcohol addiction issues, I know what the solution is. It’s simple really. Love. That’s it. That’s the solution. You have to fall in love with sobriety. The problem for most people is that they are just trying to live “one day at a time”. That definitely has some merits but it’s not a strong foundation for long-term recovery and success.

To succeed long-term, you’ve got to be able to imagine a future where you love being sober, and being sober is what gives you a much bigger buzz than alcohol ever could. It is very similar to how athletes prepare for success. They imagine themselves already having won. This is why I recorded the self-hypnosis audio entitled “Overcome Alcohol Addiction“. By listening once daily, you’ll be encouraged to visualize yourself as successfully sober and loving it.

How Important Is A Supportive Environment?

For an addict to succeed at next step sober living, they have to visualize a great future and keep this image clearly in their mind at all times. Being in an environment where there are other problem drinkers is not going to help. We all need to be supported in some way to believe that we can do what we set out to achieve, whether that’s winning a football match, being able to hit a baseball, or succeeding at sober living. Sober living homes can help provide that type of supportive environment.

This is where the general public doesn’t really understand addiction. Stopping drinking is only the first step. For addicts to succeed long-term, they need to pay attention to the life skills they will need to be productive member of society. 

Some alcohol addicts have mental health issues varying from mild to severe. Drinking was only their self-medication for whatever mental illness or unresolved emotional problem they had. The same applies to drug addiction.

Many of the older style residential treatment programs did attempt to deal with some of these issues but once the stay in the residential program finished, typically, there was no follow-on. It is really important to work out a recovery program that extends long out into the future.


overcome alcohol addiction mp3 cover image

Self-Hypnosis Audio To Overcome Alcohol Addiction

Self-hypnosis can be a great tool to help you visualize your new sober future and get excited about it. 

What Is A Sober Living Program?

Sober Living Houses (SLHs) are “facilities that provide safe housing and supportive, structured living conditions” (Wikipedia). Many SLHs provide this service for both alcohol addicts and those suffering from substance use disorders. 

Facilities vary from one SLH to another but typically, there is a house manager and staff members that can include psychiatric nurses and social workers. The reason for that specialized level of care is that some of the residents will have mental health concerns that, if left untreated, would just lead them back into their addiction pretty quickly.

Most (but not necessarily all) recovery homes use 12-step meetings as their guiding philosophy. Typically each next step recovery home would have its own house rules such as:

  • No alcohol or drugs tolerated
  • Typically just one gender per house
  • Random drug or alcohol tests
  • Willing participation requirement for residents
  • Structured activity program

You can find more information on sober living houses by googling “sober living house (your area)”. You’ll find more details on addiction treatment and sober living houses at the Addiction Center website.


What Are The 4 Dimensions Of Recovery?

  • Health: Prioritizing self-care and learning how to look after your health and wellbeing
  • Home: Having a sober living environment. This must be a safe place where you can adjust to independent living with some peer support.
  • Purpose: Feeling as if you are important raises your self-esteem and makes you feel worthwhile. Ideally, you need to fall in love with your new lifestyle so that when you compare it to your old addiction lifestyle, you will never choose to go back to that.
  • Community: One of our basic needs as human beings is to feel that we fit in. As part of your recovery journey, you have to be part of the “sober gang” and feel like you get better outcomes from being part of the “sober gang” than being part of the “drunk gang”. This involves forming a social network of those who don’t use or abuse alcohol.
overcome alcohol addiction mp3 cover image

Self-Hypnosis Audio To Overcome Alcohol Addiction

Self-hypnosis can be a great tool to help you visualize your new sober future and get excited about it. 

What Are The Most Popular Recovery Groups?

Numerous groups out there help with various substance abuse issues. There are various support groups depending on whether you are addicted to alcohol, drugs, or something else.

For alcohol, the most popular group is definitely AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). By following the link, you’ll be taken to their website where you can find links to the local group in your state, city, or town.

If your problem is more drug-related, the most popular group is NA (Narcotics Anonymous). They have a very helpful meeting map pdf which will show you where you can find their branches anywhere in the world.

While both of these organizations have a religious slant (they do talk about handing the problem over to a “higher power”), there are some secular varieties of support groups out there too. For most people I encounter with an alcohol problem, I tell them that if a “higher power” isn’t what they believe in, they can just ignore that bit. It’s important not to get hung up on that and realize that the structured program of 12 steps has benefitted millions throughout the world, and it can be of help to you too.

How Do You Live With Someone In Recovery?

The number one thing you have to do is to draw up a plan of what you will do and most importantly, what you are not going to do. Remember, your job is not to try to shield the addict from the consequences of their problem. 

To be effective at giving them support, you need to make it clear that you will help them get their future on track, (eg. help them to find a job). Tell them you will help them figure out what that future looks like, how to get committed to healthy projects or activities, how to hold down a job, how to deal with their emotions in the future, etc. 

Your job is not to speak to people that the addict has hurt on their behalf, it’s not to plead with someone not to take legal action against them, etc. You have to stay away from doing this. Facing up to the consequences of their actions makes the addict realize they must change and they must live a totally different life in the future. 

If you intervene, you could, inadvertently, be enabling them to go back to their addiction again. Remember, the old phrase “You’ve got to hit rock bottom”. Allowing them to face the problems they have created empowers them to change.

Now, of course, that’s not true in all cases. In certain cases, individual needs will require extra support. If in doubt, speak with a drug or alcohol abuse counselor who can give you guidance on what is the appropriate treatment.

learn to love yourself self hypnosis audio cover

Self-Hypnosis Audio To Help You Do Self-Love More Often

Self-hypnosis can be a great tool to help you to pay much more attention to what’s good about you.. 

How Do I Make Self Care A Priority In Recovery?

The first step is to make self-care a “must”. A problem for many people is that they talk about self-care using the words “I should”. This applies to almost everyone, not just addicts. If ordinary guys and girls who don’t have an addiction problem need self-care, then you definitely do. Self-criticicism is so easy to do – to tell yourself you’re a piece of s*** because of all the drinking you did, etc. It’s much harder to love yourself despite what you have done, but, honestly, it is the only way to succeed long-term.

Take out a sheet of paper right now and right down what you could do to get yourself a good self-care routine. When you have completed your plan, if you have a smartphone, pop them in the calendar to repeat every day or however often you need to do that task. Set an alarm to go off to remind you and just obey the plan. Pretty soon you’ll have created a lifelong habit that’ll help your self-esteem and give you more certainty and security in your life.

Here are some examples

  • Make my bed every day at 7.30 am
  • Shower every day at 8 am
  • Go to an AA meeting at 12 midday
  • Bed at 11 pm

As you can see, these are just examples, but hopefully, you get the idea that having a structure you can rely on gives you certainty about what tomorrow looks like. What we want to avoid are big vacuums where you have nothing to do and no specific time to do it. This combined with dwelling on negative emotions will almost certainly lead you back into addiction. Your plan will keep you safe, so make sure you generate that plan. It’s ok to tweak that plan after a couple of weeks if certain things need moving around, but always have a plan.

How Can I Get Emotional Support?

Think of who you could get emotional support from. Your partner maybe? Family members? Friends? If you’ve just come up with a couple of people that you think you could get emotional support from, let me ask you a question. Were you on the list? The most important person we can ever get emotional support from is ourselves. 

So, tell me, do you regularly remind yourself of all the times you have f***ked up? There is a rule in psychology that says “What we focus on becomes bigger”. To put it simply, by focusing on your f^^k ups, you are more likely to do that again. Is that what you want? I’m guessing it isn’t. To change your focus, you might have to learn to love yourself. If you don’t do that regularly, that might seem impossible to you. I’ve put together a 25-minute self-hypnosis recording called “Learn To Love Yourself” which is designed to help you learn how exactly to love yourself – what to think, what to say to yourself, what to pay attention to, and what to ignore.

You see, the truth is that we have all f**ked up some time in our lives. God knows, I certainly have. I just don’t beat myself up for it. I forgive myself easily because I know I’m a good guy really. My number one goal is to learn from the f^^k up and not do it again. This happens by imagining that I am doing things better in the future. By listening to that recording for thirty days, you’ll start doing more self-love.

overcome alcohol addiction mp3 cover image

Self-Hypnosis Audio To Overcome Alcohol Addiction

Self-hypnosis can be a great tool to help you visualize your new sober future and get excited about it. 

Next Step Sober Living With Hypnosis

I recorded a hypnosis audio to help people succeed at becoming sober. It’s called “Overcome Alcohol Addiction“. Download this and listen every day for as long as it takes. Make it part of your daily routine. This will help to calm you down, to let go of stress, and to visualize a happy, alcohol-free future. By listening regularly, you will find it easier to succeed at next step sober living and avoid falling off the wagon.

Picture of Author: Paul Hunter

Author: Paul Hunter

Although thousands of people read his blog every month, Paul's path to success was not an easy one. Click here to read his amazing story "From Unwanted Baby And Adopted To A Respected Self Help Blogger". If you want to send Paul a quick message, then visit his contact page here


Picture of Paul Hunter

Paul Hunter

Although thousands of people read his blog every month, Paul's path to success was not an easy one. Click here to read his amazing story "From Unwanted Baby And Adopted To A Respected Self Help Blogger". If you want to send Paul a quick message, then visit his contact page here

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